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Better sex tips for women after menopause| Getting into kinky sex

Sex after menopause is a concern for many women who are getting older. The word “menopause” can conjure up images of a celibate life forevermore (even if you don’t want to pursue a celibate life), but that doesn’t have to be true. It is true that menopause can affect sex drive negatively, but it doesn’t have to, necessarily. Let’s take a look at menopause and how to manage it so you can still have a satisfying sex life even after menopause.

When menopause happens, a woman’s estrogen levels naturally drop, which can lead to alterations in sex drive and in the ability itself to have sex. For example, if you are in menopause, you might notice that you aren’t as interested in sex or that you are less sensitive to sexual cues that you would normally have found stimulating.

This can lead to a decrease in interest, as well, just like men who have lower testosterone levels.

In addition, when estrogen drops, vaginal blood supply can also drop, which can cause a decrease in vaginal lubrication. This can make intercourse painful and difficult, because the vagina can be too dry to have intercourse comfortably.

And, it doesn’t help if the man is unable to understand this situation.

Fortunately, if you are one of the women who has experienced a drop in libido or other symptoms of menopause, like vaginal dryness, there are things that can help.

Using water-soluble lubricants like K-Y Jelly or Astroglide can treat simple vaginal dryness. (Make sure you don’t use lubricants that aren’t water-soluble, like petroleum jelly, because they can make latex condoms weaker and can encourage unfriendly bacterial growth, which can result in infection.)

Change your attitude towards sex

Most women in menopause were brought up with an unhealthy attitude towards sex. The very thought of sex beyond 50 raises eyebrows. Enjoying a healthy sexual relationship beyond the age of 50, takes more than a physical desire. One has to undo all the taboos placed by traditional thinking and realize that sex could be a natural channel for expression.

Social Barriers

People in the age group of 50 and beyond, have been actually brought up in an orthodox setting. Sex was considered a taboo in their young age. It was never talked about. Now that sex is liberally talked about in this modern age, they are considered to be too old for it.

In most parts of the world, sex is connected to marital duties. In some parts of the world sex is limited to procreation. In other parts of the world sex after a particular age, especially when your children grow up, is considered inappropriate.

Your Mind

These so called preset norms may hinder the natural expression of joy that is associated with the sexual experience. When your natural instincts begin to conflict with these social parameters, it results in a low self esteem. Your self esteem has a lot to do with the way you feel about sex after 50.

So let’s discuss about self esteem. Your self esteem helps you to be in touch with yourself. Your quest for love helps you to do away with stagnation, and helps you to evolve. So, in order to evolve, you must be in touch with yourself. The problem arises when you live outside-in and not inside-out. This means that the situations on your outside influence your inside. Moreover, traditional teachings have made you think this way.

For example: Your father or mother decides whether you are a good child or not. Your teacher’s decide whether you are a good student or not. And that’s perfectly OK! Your parents and teachers are supposed to guide you.

But the problem arises when you always seek the approval of others, and that dictates your feelings about yourself. You stay out of the limelight because you have stopped trusting yourself. Your joys depend on what others say about you. You have wrongly trained yourself to think outward-in!

You become dependent on outside validation to feel good about yourself. If you don’t seek this validation, there may even be a sense of inadequacy or guilt.

Your Body

Another thing that plays a very important role in enjoying sex at 50 is your physical condition. Although our sexual wires are in place, our bodies seem to slow down. Most women let childbirth affect their sexuality. Moreover the reduction in hormones leads to a lack of sex drive. But let’s not make generalizations.

Many women discover their sexuality from 40 years to 60 years of age. They have more time for themselves and are more relaxed to explore their sexuality.

Men on the other hand can have great sex drives even at the age of 60, although they might need some extra help to enhance their sexual potential.

The problem could be a lack of sex drive on the part of their partners. But that is changing. Others suffer from reduced sex drive due to medical conditions. At 50 you obviously are not a beginner. You know what works for you and what doesn’t. Even though you are well aware of which button triggers which response, your mental inhibitions rob you of feeling the physical pleasures.

You still remember the days of your youth, and the great sexual tendencies you had at that time. You are the same person and may very well be able to enjoy sex now. Yes, things may be slower but it definitely will be good. Allow yourself to relax mentally and physically. Remember that your nerves are still in place and working. Those nerves can still carry impulses as they explode in your brain.

Kinky sex after menopause

Good sex need not be kinky. But being a little naughty could do you so good. It’s just an opportunity to bond with your partner. The juices may not be flowing as they were in your thirties, but sex could be as good as ever. Nowadays many are resorting to medications that can enhance their sex drive. Once you get into the habit of having kinky sex, your body may respond and make you feel younger.

Many couples are into the oft-maligned “vanilla” sex, referring to sex that is fairly straight up and devoid of any kinky or atypical aspects. But many sex advisors and specialists think that this is due not to a disinterest in kinkier aspects of sex so much as a reluctance to admit to having an interest.

Women who are interested in some form of kinky sex (and who are prepared to practice good, including protective penis care of their partners while pursuing it) may find the following sex tips useful in exploring this option.

Be brave.

People build up personas that define themselves. There’s nothing wrong with that, but sometimes people get defined in a way that doesn’t truly reflect all sides of them. This can be especially true when someone has a desire to move beyond “typical” sexual activities. It can take courage to just broach the subject of this desire, even with a partner with whom one has shared much already. But if delving into this area is important , your first step is to find the courage to take the first step of talking about it. Also , consider the topic of masturbators and vibrators and talk to your partner about it.

Don’t spring it.

If this desire is going to come as a surprise to a partner of long standing, it’s best not to just blurt it out. Finding a way to ease into the conversation is preferred. Some like a “joking” way: When passing a sex shop, a man might say, “Hey, do we have time to pick up a whip and a few penis rings?” in a joking manner. But later on that night, he can refer to that: “You know when I made that joke about the sex toys?” and follow up with, “Well, I was wondering if maybe there are some new things we might want to try out some time.”

Talk first.

Once the subject has been broached, if the partner is receptive, it’s a good idea to talk things through first. Talk about the things that are of interest to both parties. It’s good to set up a non-judgmental and honest framework: Both parties should talk about what interests them and how they feel about what interests the other person. Any resistance to participation should be discussed and respected. A partner should also be open about how far he or she is willing to go. And both parties should realize that they are free to change their minds – either before, during or after an exploration.

Start slowly.

Most couples find it helps to start slowly. Rather than starting off with props, for example, perhaps a little role-playing with, say, an imaginary set of handcuffs or a faux-leather bra is desirable. Some light rubbing of the posterior might be a good lead-in to actual spanking later.

Pick words.

Safe words are a good idea if the kinky sex gets a little too intense. Participants can choose a word that, if they utter it, means things have moved beyond their comfort level and they should stop now.

Know how things work.

Before employing props in one’s sex play, make sure both partners know how they work. For example, a chastity cage for the penis may be fun during some role-playing (acting like a MILF etc.), but will be less fun if neither partner knows how to remove it.

You will find so much information on kinky sex on the Internet. Try downloading a copy of the Kama Sutra, the ancient Indian treatise on sex. It is full of sexual positions that you can use and most of them are downright kinky. These positions tell you how to arouse the most important erogenous zones of your woman and give her a pleasure she has never experienced before.

If you want to be more daring, you could try out something like role-playing or bondage sex or some fetish. Keeping your fetish suppressed is not the answer.

If you are a real man, you would talk to your partner about it, it could really give you a very meaningful time with her, and you would be completely satisfied with the time you spend with her.

Originally published on Feminapotens.org

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Use the power of your “unconscious mind” to increase the size of your penis

Many men find themselves in the situation where they wish they had a bigger penis.

You hear about things like “size matters” and “the bigger the better” all around, so you end up thinking an extra inch couldn’t hurt. But you should know that every cheap pill, potions and gear will not have a lasting effect on your organ size, so don’t fool yourself thinking all those penis enlargement ads are real. They’re a scam.

If you want to increase the size of your penis, there are some mental hacks that can help though. They won’t do any harm, like pills or potions, and will make your feel better when you master the techniques.

However, you should know there are some limitations. You penis size will not double, that’s a given. Instead, you can use science to help it grow to its maximum size, especially when erect.

You may think that using your subconscious mind to increase the size of your penis is a myth, but there are some simple causes behind it. When working with your mind, you find yourself in a calm, stress-free zone. This enhances oxygenation level in your entire body, including the penis.

Blood vessels are no longer constricted and allow a strong blood flow. The more blood gets pumped into your penis, the larger it is, especially when erect. You may have noticed how sometimes your penis seems larger in erection, especially when you are extremely aroused by your partner, while other times it just won’t grow as strong, like when you’re stressed or have something on your mind.

That’s because stress affects the constriction of arteries and influences the blood flow.

First of all, “Neuro Linguistic Programming” – also known as NLP – can turn out to be a great deal of help. NLP is based on rewiring your brain and unconscious mind to achieve better results in different areas of your life or to cope with stress, traumas and depression.

What you can do is repeat daily affirmations like “my penis size is growing more and more each day” and other positive stating. You want to repeat these exercises for at least a month. Make sure you’re alone and calm when you do these – you don’t want to be interrupted or disturbed.

Another great performer for your subconscious mind is visualization. Try to visualize your penis the way it is then picture it growing larger and larger, both flaccid and erect. Practice this exercise several times a day.

You could also try to include your partner in the visualization and imagine you both share the joy. This should let you feel confident and calm, influencing the blood flow in your body.

Hypnosis is also often used for solving different issues, including penis size. If you believe you subconscious mind hold the call, you can even program your body to continuously focus on cell growth and continue during your sleep.

Use as many positive affirmations as you wish and maintain a positive thinking pattern. Not only it can work miracles, but it will also help you become more confident and self aware.

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Testosterone and the “real” man

Are real men a dying breed? Looking into what’s happening nowadays, you might say they are. Women have taken power in all areas, while men have slowly, but surely started to do more and more “womanly activities” up to the point of adopting fairly more feminine clothes.

But what does being a real man actually mean?

Well, scientifically talking, the difference between a man’s behavior and a woman’s one is given by multiple factors, amongst which hormones are very important. The “manly” hormone is testosterone -you might somehow say that the more testosterone you produce, the manlier you are. While women produce this hormone as well, it is in a very small ratio compared to men. Some women produce a testosterone excess and that’s why you sometimes see more masculine women than usual. However, testosterone doesn’t make you a man. It just gives you some incentives.

Things are constantly changing and shifting. Growing up as a kid, the roles of women and men seemed to be a bit more defined than nowadays. In my family, women were the ones to perform the majority of house chores, while men had their own set of activities. I grew up seeing how man spend their free time drinking beer, watching football, playing sports, while women had their own hobbies – seeing their friends and talking to them for hours, gardening, shopping and so on. While my father was helping my mother with the chores, I still remember she was the one making breakfast or the best cookies in the world – not my father. Today’s society seems to judge the different roles women and men have, but my family was happy just like that.

Today’s society tends to say that women need their power back, but does that mean the men need to start doing the chores? Adopting a soccer-mom behavior is not necessarily a positive aspect of feminism. Kids nowadays don’t know what to believe and don’t know what is ok and what isn’t. The media and all the mixed messaged contribute to their confusion, while they are constantly being told it’s ok to be confused. Have you ever seek the answer to a question, and instead of that got even more questions? It can drive you insane.

Seeing my father has taught me how to be a man. I didn’t necessarily learn how to properly iron the clothes from him, but I did learn important values that define a man to his core. I understood what being reliable means, I understood a man needs to find a way to support his family and be as successful as possible for his dear ones, and many other things that have shaped me. The same is available for all kids today, too – they tend to adopt their parents’ behavior and learn how to be men and women. But what happens if you see your mother working all day long while the father does all the chores? In today’s society, the information is so different upon what being a man and what being a woman means, that no one really understands what being a manly man even means.

In fact, did you know that a several studies were performed on large groups of people (over 5000) and they revealed a shocking truth? The couples where the women were performing the chores had a much more satisfying sex life than the couples where the men did a lot of the chores? If you ask the experts, they always tell you that helping the women as much as possible will make her feel more connected to you, more understood and loved. While that remains true, it seems that house chores won’t guarantee a good sexual life – on the contrary.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not stating men shouldn’t help their partners out – on the contrary. But perhaps more testosterone means acting like a real man and taking care of your partner in different ways, not necessarily mopping the house and always washing the dishes.

When I was a kid, I remember the roles of men and women were a bit more defined. Sure, rigid roles lead to sexism and other negative behaviors, but where is the limit? The issue is not that women are taking power back, but the fact that during this process, men and their habits, hobbies and leisure started to be ridiculed and even mocked – you can see this in the media more and more. This may have a potentially harmful effect on men, and can lead to losing your identity as a gender. More and more areas that used to be dominated by men are now suitable for and dominated by women. While their spectrum of activities is enlarging, the men’s is shrinking.

A study performed by Rudman & Phelan in 2007 revealed that men who have a feminist partner are more satisfied in bed. However, the study was only made on 400 people and was determined as not at all representative. On the other hand, Kornrich et al performed a study in 2012 in a large group a few thousand people that showed the less chores a man does, the happier he is in his sex life with his spouse.

This makes you think that perhaps there’s a limit to what a man and woman can or cannot do in order to maintain a happy balance in the couple. After all, we’re supposed to complete each other, not be totally self-sufficient.

So next time when you feel less of a man, remember you are driven by testosterone. You are a man, in fact, not a woman. You can definitely help your partner out with house chores, cooking, washing, cleaning and so on, but do it just as often as you feel comfortable, without feeling you’re giving your manhood up – the same would be available for your partner. By doing so, you’re actually contributing to the equilibrium of the relationship. Having testosterone surely doesn’t make you a man, but knowing your limitations can definitely contribute to that.

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Using penis pump along with male enhancement pill

The penis is made up of 50% smooth tissue, muscle, and blood vessels. That makes it very similar to all other muscles in the body and the similarity means that it can be exercised and made bigger. Manual exercise is very effective at increasing penis size. You can use your hands to exercise your penis and if you want, you can incorporate a penis pump into your routine.

One of the popular forms of manual exercise is known as Jelqing. It is a manual exercise where a man moves his fingers over his penis in a motion similar to milking.

What do people do in order to increase the size of their muscles? They simply go to the gym to lift some crazy heavy weights and in the process, they tear their muscle tissues. After that, they go eat protein-rich foods so that their muscles can be repaired and multiplied in the process.

This is how jelqing and using penis pumps work. Here is a more detailed description of the jelqing procedure.

jelqinfographic

The first thing you have to do is to lubricate your penis – you don’t want too much friction with your hands. The penis should be 50-80% erect because ‘milking’ it at full erection can cause tissue damage. The next step is to form a circle with your index finger and thumb then hold the penis at the base. Grip on the penis just enough to make sure that you restrict blood flow and start sliding the hand towards the glans. Stop once you reach the base of the glans. You should take your other hand to the starting position before unclenching the first hand to prevent blood from escaping.

Jelqing is a very effective penis enlargement technique but its results are not immediately visible. It might take between few weeks to months to notice any changes depending on your physiology and dedication. One of the best things about jelqing or using penis pumps is that if it works, the effects are long-lasting. As long as you do the exercise at least once per week to maintain the size of your penis, you can be guaranteed that your penis will never go to its previous tiny size.

Another thing that people usually wonder is whether penis exercise is the be-all-end-all when it comes to male enhancement. The simple answer is that manual exercise is a tiny piece of the puzzle. In order to achieve total male enhancement success, you must also use male enhancement supplements in order to help your penis to grow.

There are numerous male enhancement supplements in the market that you can use to support your manual exercise routine. Male enhancement supplements have various substances that promote blood flow to the penis which is a necessary part of making the penis larger. Apart from improving blood flow, male enhancement supplements also help your body to produce muscle and other soft tissues that are needed to make the penis enlargement permanent.

Final words

No matter what size your penis is when flaccid or erect, it is easy to make it larger by using a combination of manual exercises and male enhancement pills. As long as you have a regular exercise routine using a high quality penis pump and use high quality enhancement supplements like VigRX Plus, you can be guaranteed of having a larger penis and overall better sex life.

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How to meet sexual and emotional needs of your woman?

The sexual health of women; knowing what you need to meet your sexual needs

Discussing your sexual need with your hubby can be a rewarding experience that strengthens your marriage. Try putting into consideration some of the tips here

A woman can only be in excellent emotional condition when her sexual needs are being met. Good sexual health does not happen overnight. A lot has to be put in. There has to be open communication. It is never easy to talk about sexuality, but it is always worth the effort.

This guide was created to make your a woman enjoy sex once again.

Women’s sexual health

The assumption most people make is that sexual activity is stimulated by desire. Simply put, you only have sex when you are in mood to. Even though this may be true for men, studies have shown that it is much more complicated for women.

Women, especially those who are in their 40s or more and have crossed menopause, require more than physical desire to get into the mood for sex. At this point, she sees sex as a means to express her feelings, or draw closer to her partner.

We can then infer from here that sexual satisfaction is different for men and women. While some women may be looking for orgasm during sex, others are okay with just the pleasure of sexual arousal.

The first step to take in improving the sexual health of your woman, is to let her and encourage her to open up to you.

The role of the men

Intimacy can be quite a hard thing for men. At the thought of intimacy, the next thing that comes to the mind is sexual intimacy. The intimacy we are talking about here is very different.

Women try to get intimate with their man through their emotion.

Where men get it wrong is when they believe that intimacy means meeting only the sexual needs of their women. One common erroneous action men take is trying to meet the attention their women are seeking for by buying them gifts. It sometimes makes men to wonder why our girlfriends and wives aren’t still happy after all the efforts.

It is that easy for men to connect emotionally, but you will get it all wrong as a man when you believe you are right on track when you show love and care to your partner by helping out with house chores, catering to the needs of your family, or planning your vacation. However, don’t push the limits and remember your role as a man.

Women suffer from frustration when connecting with their men becomes a problem. So guys stop thinking you are being there for your wife or girlfriend by just providing to her needs.

There are no quick fixes to intimacy. You need to have a receptive heart to listen to her without defending yourself. Be willing to accept constructive criticism, and give feedback. Bear in mind that you have not really failed as a father or boyfriend, only that you got a lot of work to do.

Let your partner know how you feel as well. Let her feel that you are also vulnerable, and that could mean simply doing nothing. Women want like it when their men can relate well with them.

Find out from your partner the areas where you need improvement. Maybe you are not being supportive enough or not showing enough care. Never make assumptions.

One way of knowing that your woman isn’t connecting with you, is when she withdraws herself sexually or physically. They will criticize and invalidate you, but all they really want is your attention.

One solution to this problem, is being open in your conversation with your partner, so as to reconnect back with her. Doing so helps you regain your sexual intimacy with her. Most at times, we are tempted to run or pretend like all is well when they are not in our relationships.

For the men, this usually takes the form of avoidance and compartmentalization. You have to approach such issues from a new angle this time around. Talk out your problems with your partner.

Avoid the trap of resorting to criticism, be very open in your conversation with them, and you would be amazed how things would turn out. Your relationship just ends up getting sweeter.

The role women need to play

The first thing to do is to talk about your needs. It might feel a bit awkward talking about your sexual needs and desire with your partner, but it is worth it. Talking out with your partner about your sexual experience makes things easier on your partner, and helps bridge the gap in your relationship, thus making your sexual life much richer. So here are some helpful tips

Acknowledge your uneasiness. Let your partner know if there is something bothering you. Be willing to open up makes things easy on the side of your partner. The simplest way to start is to start up a conversation, as doing so will help build up your level of confidence.

Also set a time limit. Make your talks as short as possible. 15 minutes of talk on this topic, helps make things smooth.

Don’t stop after your first talk about your sexual experience. It should be something you do all the time.

A good book or movie has a lot to offer. If the book teaches about women’s sexual health, stir the interest of your partner in reading it. Watching a movie that reflects women’s sexual experience is a great way to start up a conversation.

Topics you need to discuss with your partner

Being specific when talking about your sexual needs makes things easy. Some of the topics that need to be talked over with your partner include;

Time

Do you two devout the right amount of time to your sexual intimacy? If there isn’t sufficient time, may be it is about time you two changed your priorities.

Romance

Are you on the same page with your partner when it comes to romance? If romance is missing in your relationship, there is need to find it again.

Pleasure

What do you two really enjoy during sex? Listen attentively to your partner to know their interest. There might be need for compromise, so that everyone goes home happy.

Routine vs. rut

Has your sex life fallen into a dead routine? Do you need to make some changes? Changes you might have to make could either be changing the times you have sex, or trying out new sex styles. Masturbation, massage, oral sex and even vibrator can liven up your sex.

Emotional intimacy

Sex isn’t just a physical act. Sex gives couples the opportunity to reconnect and know themselves much better.

Physical and emotional changes

How possible is it that changes which could be as a result of weight gain, surgery or illness affect your sex life? Try eliminating whatever it is that is hampering your sex life. Stress is a major culprit here.

Beliefs

Let your partner know what you believe concerning sex. Some men think women lose their desire for sex after they have crossed menopause. This is of course not true.

Coping with each other’s different sexual needs

Appetite for sex isn’t the same for everyone. Illness, stress and career is a major determining factor. Talk this out with your partner

The same goes for intimacy needs.

Intimacy does not end at sex, it includes spiritual, recreational and physical needs as well.

Sexual desires for couples also differ. Try finding a meeting ground so that everyone stays happy.

When to consult a doctor

If after observing most of the tips shared here and your problem still continues, you will need to talk it out with a doctor. Poor state of health can affect your sex life. If you are suffering from illness like vaginal dryness, you will need to seek treatment. Proper medication and lubrication can help solve this problem